By Leandra Sims, Kensington Memory Care Manager & Positive Approach to Care Mentor
Supporting Loved Ones with Dementia During the Holidays: Creating Moments of Comfort, Joy, and Inclusion
The holiday season is a time of joy, reflection, and connection for many. However, for those living with dementia, it can also be a time of confusion, stress, and disorientation. As caregivers, families, and loved ones, how we approach this season can make a meaningful difference. The key lies in changing our perspective—visually, verbally, and emotionally—and remembering that those living with cognitive changes still have purpose and can contribute profoundly to holiday moments. At The Kensington, we are grateful for guidance from Teepa Snow’s Positive Approach to Care® and would love to share tips that have helped us embrace this approach.
1. Visually Shifting Our Perspective: Understanding the Environment Through Their Eyes
The way we perceive the world influences how we interact with it. When caring for someone with dementia, it’s important to look at their surroundings with fresh eyes. What do they see when they look around? Are there visual cues or items that might be confusing or overwhelming?
During the holidays, try the following:
- Incorporate Familiar, Comforting Visuals: Use familiar items, family photos, or seasonal objects that bring positive memories and recognition.
- Adopt Their Point of View: Look at the space from the perspective of the person living with dementia. They are doing their best with the changes in their brain, and understanding their view can help in creating a more comfortable setting.
By curating a calm, familiar environment, we create a sense of comfort and ease, helping those with dementia feel more at home during the holidays.
2. Verbally Shifting Our Language: Choosing Positive, Supportive Words
Words hold immense power, especially when supporting someone with dementia. The language we use—both with the person living with dementia and around them—significantly impacts their emotional well-being. This holiday season, we can shift our verbal communication toward positivity, encouragement, and inclusion.
- Avoid Yes-or-No Questions: Asking “Would you like to go outside?” can often result in a “No” response, even if the person might enjoy the activity. Instead, try gentle encouragement or rephrase the question to make it more engaging.
- Slow Down: Fast-paced or hurried language can increase anxiety. Speak gently, with patience, allowing time for responses. A good rule of thumb is to give someone at least 21 seconds to reply before prompting them again.
- Offer Choices: Include the person in decision-making wherever possible. For instance, ask, “Would you like to help set the table or choose a holiday movie?” This simple inclusion can support prefrontal cortex skills and foster a sense of engagement.
By shifting our verbal approach, we create a positive, engaging atmosphere where individuals feel valued, respected, and included in the holiday celebration.
3. Adjusting Our Pace: Balancing Activities with Rest
One of the biggest challenges of caregiving during the holidays is managing the pace. With busy schedules, meals, and gatherings, the holidays can be overwhelming for someone with dementia.
Consider these adjustments:
- Reduce the Number of Activities: Rather than packing the calendar, choose a few meaningful activities aligned with the person’s abilities and preferences. Whether it’s decorating the tree, baking cookies, or simply enjoying a holiday meal together, prioritize activities that bring joy.
- Allow Time for Rest: Sometimes, less is more. Create quiet moments for rest, listening to music, or simply enjoying calm surroundings. These moments of respite are essential for maintaining comfort and well-being.
By honoring their need for a slower pace, we help the person with dementia feel less rushed and more present in the holiday experience.
4. Embracing Purpose: Supporting Their Desire for Contribution
No matter what stage of dementia someone is in, they still have a need for purpose and belonging. The holidays center around giving, sharing, and connecting—and this desire remains strong even with a dementia diagnosis.
- Involve Them in Traditions: Assign small tasks or roles where they can contribute, like folding napkins, arranging ornaments, or welcoming guests. Even small acts provide a sense of purpose and value.
- Celebrate Their Strengths: Focus on what the person can do. This might be singing a favorite holiday song, sharing a familiar story, or offering a warm greeting.
- Foster Social Connections: Arrange moments for them to connect with others, whether through a short phone call with a relative or a quiet conversation with a friend. Social connections are vital, and they still have much to offer in emotional warmth and engagement.
By recognizing the importance of purpose, we can help someone with dementia feel valued and included. The holidays are a time to celebrate everyone, regardless of cognitive changes, honoring the dignity and worth of those living with dementia.